The songs that take you away ...

As I left Temple Square this evening, I was greeted by a homeless man on the corner. He was just setting up a lunchbox for donations and he promptly sat and started playing on his harmonica. He was playing "How Great Thou Art" as I passed him. It was beautiful, and a perfect end to a lovely evening. Of course, I turned around and donated to his collection ... he truly lifted my spirit as I passed him.

I kept singing the hymn as I made my way to my car and then home. Isn't it amazing how a song can take you to a million places in an instant?

I was walking the streets in Bulgaria with Sister Eyre, singing and enjoying the evening.

I was sitting on a floating dock at Camp Loll, my feet dipped into the cold, cold water.

Those memories were joined with many others ... they somehow came to me individually and yet collectively...harmoniously creating a very safe place where the past and the present merge.

Glass Recycling in SLC

For those of you who live in SLC, there are more glass recycling drop offs now.

A new way to advertise for a yard sale ...

Guess the picture ...

Here is a post where you can take a guess at the location of the photo above.

A Do-Over Day

Do you ever wish you could restart your day? Maybe you would get up earlier ... or later. In so many ways, I would like to start today over. Being labor day, I thought it would be a nice, relaxing day. It ended up being an ornery day. The day itself was beautiful, and my family was very pleasant. Unfortunately, I was the ornery one. I'm not sure why it came crashing in today, but I just wasn't pleasant to be around.

The worst part about such a day is that I recognized that I was ornery, but I couldn't quite seem to pull myself out of it soon enough. I knew that I really wasn't going to be too great around people, and I finally resigned myself to aloneness and my own house. I cleaned ... everything. It was a good way to channel my orneriness. And, as with the day ... it passed. I got it back together and I let the ornery fall from me.

Good thing tomorrow is fresh, with no mistakes or orneriness in it.

Chicken for dinner ...

For those of you who don't know that I've learned a lot about chickens over the past 9 months... well, I have. Dan raises chickens, and it's been a fabulous opportunity for me to learn more about chickens and the natural order of the farm. I've really enjoyed it. There is much more to say about this point, but for now, I just want to let you all know that if you would like to purchase amazing free-range chicken for eating, then you now have the chance.

Here is the info: http://homerootsfarm.blogspot.com/

They will be available to eat Monday, if you're interested.

Computer down time

So, when I need a computer break, I love this game: Bookworm. I guess it makes me feel better about spending 10 minutes doing something like this because it actually uses my brain ... and increases my vocabulary. I usually give myself 10 minutes and see how high I can get.

Enjoy! You may get addicted.

My tomato plant

I have to say that I'm really proud of my one, red tomato. Since I don't have anything but a balcony to plant on, I'm a bit limited, but I do have 2 tomato plants and an herb pot. For some reason, I only have one tomato so far, but there are plenty of blooms.

I ate my one tomato last night...it was amazing. There is something so rewarding about eating something that you grew...you know where it came from and what has happened to it.

Bulgaria in October

As of August 13, I've been home from my mission 7 years. Wow ... can it really be that long ago? I've been wanting to get back for all that time. A couple of months ago, I decided I just need to it. And, I coupled my want to get back with my desire to do some humanitarian work. The plan right now is to head to Bulgaria in October to work in orphanages for 2 weeks and then travel a bit. Yesterday, my good friend Anna said she wants to come! I'm so excited. We are going to have an amazing time. More details to come.

The Perfect Dress

I don't know about all of you, but I love dresses. I just love them. But, they are often hard to find.

A couple of my friends (thanks Dave and Vicki) told me about this amazing site: ShabbyApple.

Go there. Bask in the beauty of a perfect dress.

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Meteor Shower

In case you've never seen this amazing meteor shower, it will be next week. Here is a new article with more info.

The Spiral Jetty

When I was a senior, I took an art history class. I remember there were two pieces of art that I remember seeing in the book and knowing I had to see them in front of me. The first is Winged Victory; she is in the Louvre. I saw her the summer of 2007.

The other was the Spiral Jetty. Funny thing is that I made it to Paris before making it to the Jetty, which is right here in Utah.

But on Saturday, Natalie and I went to the Spiral Jetty--it was amazing.

Here is some background: Robert Smithson's monumental earthwork Spiral Jetty (1970) is located on the Great Salt Lake in Utah. Using black basalt rocks and earth from the site, the artist created a coil 1,500 feet long and 15 feet wide that stretches out counter-clockwise into the translucent red water. You can learn more here and here.

It was under water for 20 years, but the lake has been low for quite a while now.

Be sure to take water and a 4-wheel drive vehicle. It is definitely worth the trip. It took about 2 hours from Centerville. We spent about an hour out there, and then 2 hours back.

Here is the view on the way out.

There is a jetty just before you get to the Spiral Jetty. It's left over from oil drilling.

Then we could see the Jetty.

It only got better as we got closer.

Here it is up close.

And then on the Jetty.

To the side of the Jetty.

Another shot of the Jetty.

Then we climbed the hill and got these shots.

And, the final shot.

Warning: This is a Potty Post

For those of you who work in an office, I wonder if you've encountered the same phenomenon I have ... I tend to be in the bathroom at the same time as the same coworker ... frequently.

I first noticed this when I worked at BYU. More often than not, I would walk into the rest room and another female professor there. The thing is that professor was about 70 years old. So, I came to the conclusion that I must have the bladder of, well, you know. I did make myself feel better by figuring out that maybe I only saw her on half of her visits to the restroom!

Well, I've started to see this pattern emerge at my current work place. I have ended up in the restroom with the same coworker up to 3 times in one day. It even got to be so obvious that I had to say something to her. She just laughed.

And, what else is there to do ... but laugh and use the restroom.

New Joshua Radin music

I've posted three new songs by Joshua. I love his music, and these three are fabulous. Enjoy!

Joshua Radin - You Got What I Need

Joshua Radin - The Myth Of Us

Joshua Radin - Streetlight

A Well-Written Love Letter

Do you remember writing letters to people? Real letters? Well, I still love when I get a real letter in the mail. And, a raise in postage or not, there is something to be said for someone sitting down to write a letter and then get it to a post office.

I read an article today about the writing of love letters. This may just be the uber-romantic in me, but I think there is something wonderful about receiving a love letter. And, I know that I have a couple of letters that I keep with me--to pull out and enjoy over and over.

I can't help but think of the Shakespearean sonnet that talks about how his love would endure because it was captured in words.

So, enjoy the article and then write your love.

A Rose for Emily?

I would suggest doing 2 things.

1. If you've never read Falkner's "A Rose of Emily," do it. If you've already read it, then go straight to #2.

2. Read this article.

Creepy!!

Dipping from the Past

I went to dinner tonight with some of my oldest friends. I met Mindy in 2nd grade, Rhiannon in 7th, and Natalie in 9th. We have kept in touch over the years, sometimes from a distance. But somehow we've all managed to reconnect over the past couple of years to become dear to each other again.

I love that there are people who have known me for so long. They have seen me change and evolve over the years, and they are still hanging out with me ... which is pretty cool.

When we get together, we catch up on current events in our lives, we inevitably take a stroll down memory lane, and then we just talk about who we are now. I'm grateful for good friends. I'm glad to know there are people who grow with us and who somehow understand us without having to work at it.

Soothing Words

There is something very calming about sitting to write.

Sometimes it is the only way I can unwind, and other times it is the way I can process all I'm thinking and feeling. If I can put words to my feelings and emotions then they are easier to sort out and to handle. Granted, there are some things that even words cannot describe, but even the attempt to write something out seems to soothe me.

It has been an interesting week. I've managed to fill my summer full of classes, trips, work, and many other things. I keep thinking, it's summer and that means I'll have time. But, I've successfully booked myself fairly full.

I keep thinking back to the days when I had the summer off. It was only a few years ago that I would have at least a month and a half off completely. What did I do with all that time? I would love to have some of that time this summer.

My plans are rewarding though ... here is some of what is planned...

Seattle trip

Letterpress class

Teaching 316 again

Work (of course)

Trip to Camp Loll

Farmer's Markets

Jaw therapy

Book making

Hopefully some other weekend adventures ...

Should be a wonderful summer. My goal is to write about all of these and much more--and hope that they are of some interest.

I am not my body

I found this video today, and somehow I needed it more than I could have known. In my own small, small way, I know what it means to feel that my soul is so much more than the body that encases it. But, I think we sometimes forget how much beauty there is inside us and who we really are. There is so much life to live if we will allow ourselves to experience pain and suffering. I always think of the movie Shadowlands, when Joy says to C.S. Lewis: The pain then is part of the happiness now.

I marvel at the beauty in my life: faith, family, nature, friends, words, art, music and so on. And maybe the most amazing part of beauty is that it is always there ... if we will open our eyes to it.

Something a 29 year old should know ... I guess

Do ever come across things in your life that you probably should know about or know how to do, but you don't?

I have to get a prescription refilled today, and I realized I don't really know the process for how to do that. I guess that means I'm lucky to not have had very many prescriptions and none that required a refill, but it made me feel 19 instead of 29. Do I call them? Do I go in? Do I have to take my original stuff in? These seem silly, but it is just that I've never done it.

So, I called a life line.

Thanks to my sister for filling me in on the big mystery known as prescription refills.

Thoughts before sleep

Usually I'm not someone who can stay up late--just ask all my friends and roommates. I am the one in the corner asleep while the party rages on.

But tonight, well, this morning ... 12:33 a.m. and I am awake.

Sometimes it is the rush of all the things I'm thinking about...

My new letterpress class will be challenging...but rewarding. Could this be part of my future?

What happens now that I will be missing classes? I could take a late flight to Seattle ... that may just work.

I have 20 students signed up for Summer. I was expecting closer to 7.

Where should we stay in China ... wow ... I am going to China in a week and a half.

Dan is great.

I have a lesson for Sunday ... haven't started that yet.

Family reunion this weekend ... I am summarizing my mission, which means I have to prepare photos, look up information. I'm going to cook Bulgarian food. I still can't believe that deli wasn't open Tuesday ... I have to take my lunch break to go get the cheese.

There is a baby shower tomorrow after work ... I can't forget the present.

Project due tomorrow at work ... is it even making sense?

When will I be able to get back to the studio to do my homework for class?

My room is a mess.

Shopping for food would probably be a good thing.

I need to write a letter of rec for a student.

I guess that none of this matters to any of you except that this is how our minds run so often. There is so much going on ... and it all has to take form in my brain before I can get any of it done.

And ... it will all get done, somehow and someway.

Maybe now that I've dumped this here, I will be able to get some sleep.

Creation

I found these photos online a week or so ago. They are from Hubble. I found them to be remarkable. They are called Pillars of Creation. Inside that swirl of light and dust are the beginnings of stars and worlds. As I saw these pillars, I couldn't help think about the pillars of creation in our own lives. What is swirling around inside of us--being created right now. The dreams of our soul that are germinating and developing with time and experience. Not only are we in the process of being created, but we are able to create.

There is something rewarding and fulfilling about creating something--anything. It could be beautiful meal, the perfect sentence, or a colorful picture. We each find something that flows from us--as if our internal creation must escape and become tangible.

When I look at the images of the Pillars of Creation, I am in awe of their beauty. And, when someone looks at my outer creations and can see beauty, it somehow is a recognition of my inner creation. And, some of the most memorable moments in my life have been when I've seen the inner creation of others.

So, whatever you create, I hope you let it reflect all that you are and all that you are becoming.

“All ethics so far evolved rest upon a single premise: that the individual is a member of a community of interdependent parts. His instincts prompt him to compete for his place in that community, but his ethics prompt him also to co-operate (perhaps in order that there may be a place to compete for).

The land ethic simply enlarges the boundaries of the community to include soils, waters, plants, and animals, or collectively: the land.

This sounds simple: do we not already sing our love for and obligation to the land of the free and the home of the brave? Yes, but just what and whom do we love? Certainly not the soil, which we are sending helter-skelter downriver. Certainly not the waters, which we assume have no function except to turn turbines, float barges, and carry off sewage. Certainly not the plants, of which we exterminate whole communities without batting an eye. Certainly not the animals, of which we have already extirpated many of the largest and most beautiful species. A land ethic of course cannot prevent the alteration, management, and use of these ‘resources,’ but it does affirm their right to continued existence, and, at least in spots, their continued existence in a natural state.

In short, a land ethic changes the role of Homo sapiens from conqueror of the land- community to plain member and citizen of it. It implies respect for his fellow-members, and also respect for the community as such.”

From “The Land Ethic,”Aldo Leopold’s final essay in A Sand County Almanac

We walk up the beach in silence, but in harmony, as the sandpipers ahead of us move like a corps of ballet dancers keeping time in some interior rhythm inaudible to us. Intimacy is blown away. Emotions are carried out to sea. We are even free of thoughts, at least of their articulation; clean and bare as whitened driftwood; empty as shells, ready to be filled up again with the impersonal sea and sky and wind. A long afternoon soaking up the outer world.

But how does one learn this technique of the dance? ... When the heart is flooded with love there is no room in it for fear, for doubt, for hesitation. And it is this lack of fear that makes for the dance. When each partner loves so completely that he has forgotten to ask himself whether or not he is loved in return; when he only knows that he loves and is moving to its music--then, and then only, are two people able to dance perfectly in tune to the same rhythm. ...

Perhaps this is the most important thing for me to take back from beach-living; simply the memory that each cycle of the tide is valid; each cycle of the wave is valid; each cycle of a relationship is valid. And my shells? I can sweep them all into my pocket. They are only there to remind me that the sea recedes and returns eternally.

--Anne Morrow Lindbergh Gift from the Sea

Wallace Stegner in Where the Bluebird Sings to the Lemonade Springs says:

If you don't know where you are, says Wendell Berry, you don't know who you are. ... He calls himself a "placed" person. ...

The deep ecologists warn us not to be anthropocentric, but I know no way to look at the world, settled or wild, except through my own human eyes. I know that is wasn't created especially for my use, and I share the guilt for what members of my species, especially the migratory ones, have done to it. But I am the only instrument that I have access to by which I can enjoy the world and try to understand it. So I must believe that, at least to human perception, a place is not a place until people have been born in it, have grown up in it, have lived in it, known it, died in it--have both experienced and shaped it, as individuals, families, neighborhoods, and communities, over more than one generation. Some are born in their place, some find it, some realize after long searching that the place they left is the one they have been searching for. But whatever their relation to it, it is made a place only by slow accrual, like a coral reef.

Earth Week

Since this week is Earth Week, I want to post some of my favorite quotes about the earth and our relation to it. Enjoy.

I think it is appropriate to start this week with a Thoreau quote in Walden from "Where I Lived, and What I Lived For"

"We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn, which does not forsake us in our soundest sleep. I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor. It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts. Every man is tasked to make his life, even in its details, worthy of the contemplation of his most elevated and critical hour.

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

Book Repairs

So, I've been taking an at-home book curation class, which means that I am learning how to repair books. It has been very fascinating to say the least.

Tonight we le

arned a few things ... one of which deals wit

h removing tape. So, if you need to remove scotch tape from a page and it takes part of the page, like this ..

Then you take the piece of scotch tape with the text on it and you soak it in rubbing alcohol. You gently remove the paper from the tape like this ....

Then, you dry and press the paper before returning it to the page.

Very cool.

I also made a box for a book. If you have a book that is too damaged to be repaired or if it is too fragile, then you can make a box for it. This is what mine ended up looking like ...

The boxes were very fun to make. I'm thinking this might be my next project--book boxes!

Snow walk

This was my morning walk to TRAX. It was beautiful. It wasn't too cold, and I could already see blue emerging from the grey clouds overhead. A last bit of winter to make me long for spring.

Perfection

baba ganoush+tomato and spring bulgar dish+warm pitas=heaven

Crazies in Salt Lake

Many of you know that I tend to attract crazy people. I think my first recognition of this fact was when I was 17 and on an art history trip to San Francisco. We were walking up by little Italy one evening and a man approached our group. He started taking swings at me with his stick. Little did I know then that this was only the beginning of my interactions with crazy people.

This past week I had 2 interactions.

1. I was riding TRAX to work. In my attempt to ward off some crazies, I always have my earphones in, even if I'm not listening to music. Well, this morning, I was in fact listening to music. But, a word to all you who don't run into crazies that often ... real crazy people are not deterred by an iPod. A woman got on the train and sat next to me. I know exactly who she is. I've seen her many times, and I've even read the plastic-covered paper she shows everyone on every train she's on. It is some psychology paragraph that she apparently had published. She is a harmless crazy though, so I'm never bothered by her. I do enjoy watching people interact with her and respond to her though, especially since I've heard her story before.

I had taken my iPod touch out to change the music, which gave her the perfect opportunity to cut in. Here is our dialogue.

"Can you get American Idol on there?" she asks.

"No. Well, only if I download the music."

"Oh, that's just for music? I sure do love American Idol. What do you think of it?"

People are starting to pay attention. They want to know what I am going to say.

"I haven't been following it this year."

"Oh, really. I just love the musicians. They are so great this year."

"That's great."

Why hasn't she asked me to read her new sheet of paper? It looks like she has a new one.

"I always watch it. I just have hope for those kids," she says.

"Yeah it is great for them. Well, here is my stop. Have a nice day."

That wasn't too crazy. I just had a normal conversation with the crazy woman. Does that mean I'm crazy or that she indeed has moments of clarity? I may have a renewed hope in the crazies of this city.

Scratch that thought.

2. Tuesday night I was making a left turn onto North Temple. There was an older man walking across the street, carrying a large backpack and a half gallon of milk. There are cars coming and he is walking slow, so I inch out into the intersection and wait. As he gets half way across, he stops and looks at me. He proceeds to flip me off and motion for me to turn. He stands there finger raised, ranting about something--I don't roll my window down to hear him. I motion to him to cross and then point to the oncoming cars. He continues to rant and hold his finger up to me. He finally notices a car ahead turning right in front of him ... this distracts him enough to move toward that car with his finger pointing at the driver. My path clears up, but I'm not so sure he won't step back out in front of me. I proceed with caution, but I realize he is now engrossed in cussing out and flipping off some other driver. I finally turn. Wow. That is all I have to say--wow.

I'm sure there will be plenty more of these stories ...

No words

I just received an email from a dear friend of mine. She and her husband have been separated for the last month or so. Tonight, this is what she wrote me: "A lot has happened since we went to dinner but it culminated today with Joe (name has been changed) telling me he slept with this girl on Monday."

The news swept up off the page and knocked me with a clear pang of sorrow for her. And, I knew that if I felt such pangs, I couldn't even imagine what she must be feeling. How do you reconcile your soul to such news? What happens to your concept of life in such moments? I'm not sure.

I have no answers and no words. I feel for her pain, even though I can't even begin to understand how acute it must be. I do know that she is strong. I know that she will get through this because she believes that life can produce goodness and beauty. I know that she must be broken right now.

Dan has a song lyric that says, "See if heartbreak makes you whole." When he first talked to me about that line, I scoffed a bit. I didn't understand how pain and heartache could ever be part of wholeness. At that time in my life, I didn't really believe that wholeness was something that I would ever achieve again. I was wrong. I'm not sure exactly how it works, but I believe that the wholeness means so much more because of the sharpness of the heartbreak. And so, maybe to truly feel whole we must, at times, feel broken. In the contrast we find meaning in wholeness.

We can never really know what life will throw at us. But to believe that no matter how broken we become, we can fight for wholeness is perhaps the balm that soothes the pain. So, to my dear friend I wish you the balm of hope--hope that the pain, with time, will subside; that you will reconcile your soul; and that you will surround yourself with people who truly love you.

Music that takes you back

My freshman roommates and I created a playlist that really captured our time together. One of the bands that was on that playlist was Blessid Union of Souls. Did you ever listen to them? I loved them. Well, I was thinking about them the other day, and I purchased the album I fell in love with. I haven't listened to the album in years. It is amazing how music takes you back to places, people, and perspectives that you thought were long gone.

As I listened to the album, I was taken back to:

• Cinderblock walls in college dorms.
• Late nights working at the Scroll.
• Cargo pants and plaid shirts (I know ... that is a horrible memory for me as well).
• Movie nights
• Crushing on really old returned missionaries (23 felt really old back then!)

And a slew of other memories.

It is good to go back, mostly because of where I've come since then. But try it--bust out some old favorites and just let the memories start pouring in.

A Sense of Wonder

Camp Loll landing

I'm holding out

For all you Verizon Apple lovers, I have some great news via the gossip world of technology.

Read this article, which provides some hope that I will be getting an iPhone this year while still maintaining my Verizon service.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36089312/ns/technology_and_science-wireless/

That Old, Mean Adult

So, I did it.

I became a mean, ornery adult.

On Sunday, I drove to my parents' home for Sunday dinner and game-playing. When I pulled into their circle there were a bunch of kids playing baseball. At first it seemed that they weren't hitting the ball hard, bunting it really. So, I walked inside without much thought. Then, I checked on them, and they had started to hit the ball with some actual force. I decided to move my car, just to be safe.

Just as I walked outside with my keys a pop fly came down on the side of my car. The kids froze. They waited for my response. I said flatly, "That's why I came out to move my car." Fair enough, right? Then, without even realizing it, I proceeded to say, "You kids shouldn't be playing baseball around cars." I think I even repeated myself--for effect. I got in my car and moved it--running over the third base frisbee (on accident--I promise) in the process. By the time I moved my car the 20 feet to the main street and walked back the kids had dispersed. I had heard them mumbling and placing blame, but they didn't stick around for me to walk back.

Two thoughts came to me as I saw them walk off:

1. I've turned into that mean adult who just doesn't get the point of having a little fun--when did that happen?

2. I was intimidating--I can't believe they actually took me seriously! That is pretty cool.

Of course when I was their age, I'm pretty sure we played baseball in the same place with plenty of cars to hit ... but it didn't seem to quite sink in then. On Sunday, it seemed so logical to me that you don't play baseball with cars so close--I guess that is the point of growing up though ... you get a little better at recognizing the obvious. And, I always find it comforting to have experiences when I actually feel like an adult.

Old Friends and New Conversations

I had dinner tonight with a good friend--Katie. We met almost 6 years ago when I moved to Provo and into Alta Apartments. She is one of those friends who you don't exactly remember how or when you connected, you just know that you did. And, you stayed connected through moves and various life changes. You get together every so often to catch up, and you slip back into conversation as if no time had passed.

I treasure those friends. They seem to understand how busy life is, and yet they simply appreciate the time you have together.

Katie has recently felt an onslaught of health problems. After many doctor visits and countless opinions, she is thinking she is in the early stages of Rheumatoid Arthritis. She is a fighter though--tough and resilient. Different parts of her body freeze on her, and her hands won't let her do all the normal functions that she has been so used to for 28 years. Life has suddenly changed--the future canvased in this new discovery. I am in awe of her strength and her determination to continue living in fullness. Although for Katie I'm sure that there is no other option because of the person she is, there are so many other people who make such different choices when faced with life-altering experiences. I can't imagine what similar events would do to me, but I would like to think that I would continue to face life with vigor and determination--like Katie.

I gather in such strength from the many people in my life who live courageously. I have had the opportunity as of late to share my fire experiences with a few groups of people. I always joke about the question, "What would you grab if your house were on fire?" It is a silly question, really, but I always say that you grab people!! I know it sounds so obvious, but when you are faced with losing material possessions or you actually lose material possessions you quickly realize that the things that matter most aren't what you own but who you have in your life. Your relationships with people really define who you are and what you can accomplish.

I'm just so glad that I have a friend like Katie--someone who laughs through the immense pain of severe health problems, who still finds hope in the promise of unbounded potential, and who will take the time to gab about all the little things in life that somehow add up to mean something big.

It is time to write again

Maybe I should blame this new post on the spam comments I've been receiving. They brought me back to this blog, and when I got here, I decided that maybe it is time to write again. It has been a long journey back to this place. I appreciate all the support and love I've felt since the last post here.

It has taken some time for me to want to write again, but now that I do ... I'm happy to be back.