Newness for a New Year

Thursday, April 1, 2010

No words

I just received an email from a dear friend of mine. She and her husband have been separated for the last month or so. Tonight, this is what she wrote me: "A lot has happened since we went to dinner but it culminated today with Joe (name has been changed) telling me he slept with this girl on Monday."

The news swept up off the page and knocked me with a clear pang of sorrow for her. And, I knew that if I felt such pangs, I couldn't even imagine what she must be feeling. How do you reconcile your soul to such news? What happens to your concept of life in such moments? I'm not sure.

I have no answers and no words. I feel for her pain, even though I can't even begin to understand how acute it must be. I do know that she is strong. I know that she will get through this because she believes that life can produce goodness and beauty. I know that she must be broken right now.

Dan has a song lyric that says, "See if heartbreak makes you whole." When he first talked to me about that line, I scoffed a bit. I didn't understand how pain and heartache could ever be part of wholeness. At that time in my life, I didn't really believe that wholeness was something that I would ever achieve again. I was wrong. I'm not sure exactly how it works, but I believe that the wholeness means so much more because of the sharpness of the heartbreak. And so, maybe to truly feel whole we must, at times, feel broken. In the contrast we find meaning in wholeness.

We can never really know what life will throw at us. But to believe that no matter how broken we become, we can fight for wholeness is perhaps the balm that soothes the pain. So, to my dear friend I wish you the balm of hope--hope that the pain, with time, will subside; that you will reconcile your soul; and that you will surround yourself with people who truly love you.


Jana said...

ever read "when you're falling, dive"?

Chioma said...

I feel so bad for your friend. :(

Those lyrics do make a lot of sense. I like your take on them. I also think it makes people more whole because through trials people learn. And that knowledge helps them as they try to return to Heavenly Father and to become "whole" in the perfect sense that the scriptures talk about.

Anyway thanks for this entry!

Breanne Grover said...


I haven't read that, I'm guessing that it would be appropriate in this situation? What is it about?

tirb said...

I am terrified of that kind of stuff in my life. It is kind of morbid but lately I really get a lot of hope from hearing about people coming through trials like that and not just alive but happy again. It calms me and makes me feel ready for what comes.